I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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