I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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