i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
