she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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