she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
