My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
