Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
