So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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