..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
