we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Found the puke drawer
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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