just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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