Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
