I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
