If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
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Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
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Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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