my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
