How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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