i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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