And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
