And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
