walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
