Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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