You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
