based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Need sex. Gaining weight.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
