Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
