I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
