my vag is so smooth its legendary
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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