operation have a gay friend backfired
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How does one acquire holy water?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
