i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
