All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize