spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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