So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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