sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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