I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
