Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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