BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
