Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
