My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
