i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
