brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
