1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
