She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
