Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
well you can't waste a boner
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
