some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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