Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
