Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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