I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
