I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
