my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Pooping to opera.
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