I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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