How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You smell like stripper and shame
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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