Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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