I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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