I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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