The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He felt like a one man threesome
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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