So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
