We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
