You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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