She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
